Thirty Years Later Galactica: 1980 Remains Godawful

Posted by Michael Pinto on Oct 13, 2009 in Battlestar Galactica, Comic Books |

Galactica: 1980 #2

Galactica to me was always a Diet Coke to a Star Wars chocolate shake. Not only was it a bad rip off, but it wasn’t even in the same category. But like a chubby kid with a sweet tooth for sci fi I drank it by the gallon back in the day and watched every damn episode. But even with a sweet tooth you hit a limit and for me that was the travesty called Galactica: 1980. Now those fancy producers who reimagined Galactica knew this; so they beat every bit of cheese out of the show they could find. Suddenly Galactica seemed to have more in common with Blade Runner. But like a dork trying to act cool, sooner or later the inner lame will manifest — and I’m proud to announce that with issue #2 of the Galactica: 1980 the franchise has jumped the shark for good:

Galactica: 1980 #2 Cover Art

First we start off with this somewhat almost cool cover by Lucio Parillo — it’s not drawn badly, but what the hell is going on here? We got two snotty crew members striking a pose, but the crew member on the left seems to be reaching for something. The only thing can think of is that we wants to grab that Dynamite logo and crunch it up.

Galactica: 1980 #2: Page 1

The comic book wastes no time to deliver a cliche as soon as you open the first page! For some reason Harrison Ford’s long lost brother has become President and he’s got alpha dog tango Soviet targets to deal with…

Galactica: 1980 #2: Page 2

And like any bad episode of the Love Boat we’ve got special guest star Paul Williams — or is that the little brother of John Denver? I can’t tell.

Galactica: 1980 #2: Page 3

For some unknown reason the Geico Caveman has been stationed at an observatory in Puerto Rico: Alarmed at the lack of good auto insurance deals he needs to make a phone call while playing with his state-of-the-art Apple II.

Galactica: 1980 #2: Page 4

Here’s an actual mistake in the comic book: The entire Galactica schtick is that humans are a long lost tribe that colonized Earth eons ago. However that’s a bit of bad science fiction as it ignores the fact that language evolved over time (and the first spoken languages are lost to time). But we’ll ignore that plot hole as the caveman has to call Hector to borrow a his plane…

Galactica: 1980 #2: Page 5

And like any bad James Bond film that features Roger Moore we’ve got to bring the Soviets in our our plot. Except for one odd thing! The leader of the Soviet Union seems to have the deepest tan that I’ve ever seen, it’s as if George Hamilton has infiltrated the Kremlin with his secret installation of tanning beds. And of course like any train wreck you know you should look away, but you keep looking any way!

I can’t honestly understand why Dynamite Entertainment did this title — or who is buying it. The older demographic who grew up with the show would pretty much want to forget that it existed, and the new generation who enjoys the cool new Galactica wouldn’t like what they’re seeing here. The only thing I can figure out is that a small group of comic book collectors who buy the books as collectors don’t bother to crack open the cover in fear of ruining the value. Perhaps there’s a wisdom to that?

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